Always remember you are never alone even in this journey you are with people who are with you. Like the white birds which fly in a group for common destination are leading by turns so you need not feel lesser by following, allowing others to lead or feeling not strong enough that you are not currently leading.

While doing self work there is a point when you master something and become anxious to share, lead however sometimes that might not happen immediately. This might lead to getting impatient and frustrated and taking it personally and maybe even leading to stopping the practises or losing trust.

It would be wise to know that just like parents know when the child is ready and it is time to give them approval of going ahead with their own plans and taking responsibility for their lives…the work would also lead to taking you to a place where you can take charge of a group and lead.

Till then it is okay to follow and watch, learn from others how they lead. Even though the ego might say that you are being a follower or just wasting time in other’s spaces know that you are contributing equally by being a co-worker.

Assuming we have many different parts which come together to form an identity of our ‘here ‘and ‘now’ self the parts which are healed and are working in harmony sometimes are challenged ever so often by the unhealed and the unloved parts as there is a tug of war between them to establish authority and claim the power centre.

As we recognise this conflict in us we have to be sensitive and aware of the operating ego moment to moment and keep the inner adult in charge of the internal environment and function. This is important as a lot of time and energy can go wasted listening to the internal dialogue and the tug of war between two warring parts. Like an adult would it would be wise to take a breath, claim control and focus on what needs to be done in the given circumstance and moment.

Some of us have a challenged relationship with authority. It would be wise to look at the dynamics between a parent, teacher, boss and other authority figures and decide the amount of control that can be allowed and to watch out if there is some kind of internal rebelling which does not show on surface. Sometimes if it is nurturing then one can allow the lead to be taken by another while we do our supporting roles….a good follower only can become a good leader.

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Share what you think and feel even when it sounds doubtful or wrong…chances are that it is right. And whatever isn’t can be realised and brought back to the correct perspective.

Many a times we hesitate and shy away from putting forth our own views and opinions while speaking or writing thinking it may not be right or good. During conversations and public or social interactions we edit our responses or sometimes just keep it in not to bring about conflict or disharmony.

However this may later result in thinking about the event and responses we held back at that time which come to haunt us continuously. Given the boundaries of sticking to one’s own business if something is triggering us in a common space…it also becomes our business.

There are of course limitations on how it will be perceived will it result in souring or breaking of relations. Most of the times this fear of not being understood or heard correctly and thereby incurring the other’s wrath stops us from being actively involved or voicing our opinion freely.

The fear of authority, peers, family, friends and other such lead us to become apathetic and closed down to our feelings. The connection weakens in the face of being authentic and being open.

The fear of upsetting another, being ostracised, becoming bitter, angry, disgusted leads us to avoid going deeper and keeping conversations even with close people superficial. What comes along is the feelings of …they will never understand, change, what is the use,  and a resultant image of turning the person into a stubborn, uncouth, avoidable.

Another fear is that of saying the wrong stuff and regretting later. We can realise and make amends for ourselves and others even though it means risking getting hurt or feeling less about having made a mistake.

What if we could voice our opinions gently sticking to a larger picture and truth without using names, phrases, dialogues of past….using a gentle, respectful tone. It need not always result in closed transactions. There might be a perspective which emerges and the person can take it then or later…a choice perhaps.

Sounding high&mighty or being on a moral horse does not work either. What works is an understanding and compassion, an open heart and mind to explore ideas. It also depends on the other person’s readiness and intensity of feelings…we cannot expect someone to change in the heat of it. It would be better to give them time and space to explore their own feelings and reactions.

The voice of reason and clarity must be valued within one self first before we try it on others. The more we listen and honour this within us the more likely it is going to be honoured outside as well.

To have a healthy, alive relationship with oneself and others an open dialogue or reflection seems necessary to maintain a balance in the system.

 

 

 

 

If it sounds shameful, guilty and fearful…write about it. The truth will come forward. Don’t fight it alone or in the mind

We all have an inner critic and this critical voice varies from person to person in the frequency and tone. For some it can be quite gripping and they have it relentlessly attacking them, for others its not so often but can be very harsh.

In my inner work journey I saw how my inner critic had me in the grips of seeing things in black and white with no room for mercy. I felt unable to move and plan things on my own, hardly satisfied by whatever I could too. There was always this nagging feeling that me and others according to some standards were not good enough, trying enough or just flawed.

As much I tried to control things for myself and others I knew that it was useless because this attack would come back time and again in the quiet and comfort of my being. It was difficult to please or let go off as I did to know what could be done to get peace.

This internal chatter, voice of authority, shame and guilt would go on and on plundering any amount of self respect and image that I could work on. It became evident that my ego personality was vulnerable to this attack regardless of time, space or status.

Till I started writing about my experiences and finding out the truth in each of my thought, feeling, behaviour I just went along with the voice of inner critic. Once I started writing and could find my truth for the moment I could then take steps to accepting my thoughts, feelings and actions by evaluating where I am in my journey to planning the next course of action.

Slowly the experiences were not just good or bad, black or white, true or false about praise or criticism…there were suddenly many perspectives which provided the view of the same picture with different shades of light and colour creating a different version.

I would suggest that instead of trying to fight the inner critic or dialogue with it, it would be the best to write about it or talk to someone who can listen without judging, interrupting or advising. This would let you hear, see and feel the whole truth lest the mind takes over and gives many different suggestions and versions….one minute this feels right and the next something totally opposite of it which results in confusion.

There are also times when we internalise another’s inner critic like of parents, spouse, friend, authority figures and whoever we have given our power to. It would be good to evaluate by writing and reflecting if your belief and inner critic’s version match in this inner conflict. Sometimes the child within has picked up beliefs from parents which the inner critic uses to judge our current reality so some inner work of looking at life positions would be helpful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mind might tell you that it is something big, overwhelming or tedious….stay clear.

Simple is what works, there might be a tendency to incur suffering by making it complex and therefore complicated. Ask yourself does it sound like love, does it resonate with your being(heart).

While pursuing  a thought, truth, idea or choice we are likely to think of something new as big, challenging or overwhelming. The mind is taken up by the idea and then goes on and on about the concept viewing it from different perspectives. The tendency is to over think and not take an action to start off. So very soon the fatigue starts if the idea is held too long in the mind and eventually the fear, doubts and critical voices take over resulting in not following through the idea.

This is where it helps to keep it simple, uncomplicated and almost view it as doing something as unimportant especially if one has perfectionist tendencies. As one moves forward with the idea and hesitation or doubts come in one should ask if this sounds like love, does it resonate with our being….especially if it feels like a part of us and not playing up to some fancy image.

As time goes new ways of doing things will come up and sometimes that helps in simplifying the original idea or bring about some disruption. Go with what feels light even if alternatives feel brilliant.

One also comes across times when we think  about whether to go with the flow or once in a while insist on things being done in a certain manner….and when to put our foot down. It helps to evaluate from time to time whether we are following the original idea and what our driving philosophy was….are we still aligned to it or we have moved away from it.

At times it is likely to get carried away by others influence or ideas and deviate from one’s own original mission. If that happens it is important to take time off and reflect on the course of action to set things right. Again it would be best not to dwell too much on the what went wrong but the next few steps to bring about a change in the system.

Sometimes we end with giant leaps and at times we must keep moving with baby steps….but yes keep moving and keep the momentum going.

 

 

Stay there, stay grounded…everyday stuff is good enough work.

It is likely to think of doing the work in terms of some kind of  globe shaking phenomena and going beyond stars to reach at the cosmic level. However more often than not it is in the ordinary that holds the key to doing a good job with mindfulness and awareness.

Sometimes it can be disheartening to find oneself at a place where there is not much glory and it seems that one is stuck there for a while…on top of it the frustration and impatience starts to build up making it a heavy feeling.

Even though we cannot seem to get over that dark heavy feeling there is something deeper at work to ensure that the work has been complete and it is not a hasty, imperfect or ungrounded. Yes, it seems tedious, tiring and hopeless but if we wait patiently there is light at the end of the tunnel which becomes brighter and brighter making it seem like we were never in the dark.

In such times it is ok to give yourself a break and not be too judgemental about oneself. Just getting up, walking around, feeding oneself, being kind and taking it slow is good enough…pat yourself if you have done some bit of everyday work…that’s good enough! There are times when one cannot be a master, aspire for stars , do inspiring work…hell not even want to talk straight. And that’s ok!

All kinds of tendencies get released and it can seem pretty daunting leading  to self-hatred. To be brave in the face of such times it is a total act of courage as the energies trying to bring things down are also from within…maybe ones own resistance!

It would be a good idea to keep a focus on the body and to keep doing some kind of energy work to keep grounded, moving and integrating better.

What I use is tapping, stretching, breathing, hooponopono, switchwords, number frequencies  etc.

 

 

You have cleared many levels and now it’s becoming easier, use your tools and get help.

As you do the inner work every now and then there comes a point where you need help to move forward in your understanding. It is good to use the tools to refocus with awareness on moving forward. At times it maybe easy enough to use the tools and sometimes it is useful to get help from other people who are into the work.

We hesitate sometimes thinking of being judged by the people we look up to and think our doubts are something people might laugh about or consider them petty. Having been on both sides I can only say that after asking for help it seemed silly to have waited long when the problem is stated it only ended up bringing much relief. Instead of trying hard or trying to do it all by yourself it is absolutely fine to share it with someone you can trust, who has the listening skills and experience.

Sometimes when we do not have the company of such people or we think that it might take time it is ok to pay for the energy exchange so neither party feels indebted. The cost at times may look daunting but in the longer run it pays as investment bringing in much more.

There will also be periods of self-doubt and a feeling of chasing an illusion. Is it something worthwhile, Am I on the right path, Why do I only seem to be doing this while everyone else seems to be busy with their lives…etc?

The work is to remove illusions, becomes aware of your thoughts, feelings and to integrate all parts for healing/wholing. It is not an easy task as one goes deeper and finds layers and layers of dust before finding that one gem. Going deeper is not for everyone so do not look around at your family and friends for support or to owe any explanation to them. More often than not people may not for quite sometime understand or validate your work. Only you can see your progress and feel the integration as you change, evolve and grow. This will become apparent in interactions and everyday dealings.

The changes might not be apparent for sometime but suddenly when you look back you can see how far you have come and how your understanding has changed for the better. The self empowerment then can be felt not only by the individual but others around too.

And suddenly everything makes sense.

 

Go into enquiry not with thoughts but a gentle awareness. In moments of rest answers are already available.

It is said that no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
The usual tendency for some of us is to jump into finding a solution or a resolution once we are face to face with a problem or block. We do however try and pursue finding the solution with the same level of awareness and thoughts.
What is needed is to give it a break and go into it consciously and while in a meditative/contemplative state. Sometimes the answers can be accessed as you take a nap while trying to arrive at a better understanding and clarity.
Sometimes the answers or clues get revealed on their own while one is sufficiently relaxed after an activity, play or focussing on something else altogether.
Many a times the emotions need to be felt to release the inherent clarity of the situation. As long as the emotional clarity is not there the solution won’t appear. It would help to release the emotions surrounding the problem…looking closely to see if it is anger, fear, sadness etc. which is guarding the solution.
At times the answer or the insight is hidden beneath many layers of thoughts, feelings and emotions and it takes its own time to be revealed. In such situations we start to get weary and hopeless about finding an understanding. Perhaps we start giving up on the process of enquiry not knowing that sometimes we have to dig deeper or in other places to reach for the gem.
A master can perhaps sit in rested awareness and have the answers flowing to him like blessings because he has learnt to recognise and tame his own voice of doubt and resistance which cause all the hindrance of The Knowing!