While doing self work there is a point when you master something and become anxious to share, lead however sometimes that might not happen immediately. This might lead to getting impatient and frustrated and taking it personally and maybe even leading to stopping the practises or losing trust.
It would be wise to know that just like parents know when the child is ready and it is time to give them approval of going ahead with their own plans and taking responsibility for their lives…the work would also lead to taking you to a place where you can take charge of a group and lead.
Till then it is okay to follow and watch, learn from others how they lead. Even though the ego might say that you are being a follower or just wasting time in other’s spaces know that you are contributing equally by being a co-worker.
Assuming we have many different parts which come together to form an identity of our ‘here ‘and ‘now’ self the parts which are healed and are working in harmony sometimes are challenged ever so often by the unhealed and the unloved parts as there is a tug of war between them to establish authority and claim the power centre.
As we recognise this conflict in us we have to be sensitive and aware of the operating ego moment to moment and keep the inner adult in charge of the internal environment and function. This is important as a lot of time and energy can go wasted listening to the internal dialogue and the tug of war between two warring parts. Like an adult would it would be wise to take a breath, claim control and focus on what needs to be done in the given circumstance and moment.
Some of us have a challenged relationship with authority. It would be wise to look at the dynamics between a parent, teacher, boss and other authority figures and decide the amount of control that can be allowed and to watch out if there is some kind of internal rebelling which does not show on surface. Sometimes if it is nurturing then one can allow the lead to be taken by another while we do our supporting roles….a good follower only can become a good leader.