It’s a journey and what’s needed is going deeper and self inquiry.

In the journey of life we have some awareness which we just use to surf the waves and play safe till it does not serve us anymore. That’s when we are prodded to go deeper through the tool of self-enquiry.
When patterns repeat and are annoying enough it becomes important to sit up and take notice of what’s brewing underneath. From annoyance to experiencing rage and then even ultimately peace maybe…as we go deep we might find layers and layers of thoughts,feelings and emotions.
Triggers happen and sometimes more often and at a pace when there is no other way left but to turn within….the way out is only by going within! No outside answers can or should suffice. As one turns within, the churning itself acts as fuel to bring up clarity of a diamond, along with that the dirt comes out too. It is easy to get stuck with the dirt and keep wallowing in it till we realise that it server no purpose for any body least of all for oneself.
That’s the time to use the tools of writing, dialoguing, movement, breathing, feeling etc. to bring out deeper truths held in the grips of tightly held beliefs. The thing about these tightly held beliefs is that sometimes they are not even our own or working for our good. Some of them come from our ancestors, family, relatives, friends, society, culture ,gender, race and even as being born and living in a nation can contribute to these.
In the journey of life we have some awareness which we just use to surf the waves and play safe till it does not serve us anymore. That’s when we are prodded to go deeper through the tool of self-enquiry.
When patterns repeat and are annoying enough it becomes important to sit up and take notice of what’s brewing underneath. From annoyance to experiencing rage and then even ultimately peace maybe…as we go deep we might find layers and layers of thoughts,feelings and emotions.
Triggers happen and sometimes more often and at a pace when there is no other way left but to turn within….the way out is only by going within! No outside answers can or should suffice. As one turns within the churning itself acts as the fuel to bring up clarity of a diamond along with that the dirt comes out too. It is easy to get stuck with the dirt and keep wallowing in it till we realise that it server no purpose for any body least of all for oneself.
That’s the time to use the tools of writing, dialoguing, movement, breathing, feeling etc. to bring out deeper truths held in the grips of tightly held beliefs. The thing about these tightly held beliefs is that sometimes they are not even our own or working for our good. Some of them come from our ancestors, family, relatives, friends, society, culture ,gender, race and even as being born and living in a nation can contribute to these.
These beliefs are like snakes guarding a treasure which can be yours to be claimed if you are ready and willing.
There is no reason to continue to believe in what you believed in once advertently or inadvertently…that was then and now the reality or the situation has changed. It does not serve us to operate out of old realities. Although the old is what will keep showing up unless we go within and make changes to suit and align with our current circumstance,choice and will.
These beliefs are like snakes guarding a treasure which can be yours to be claimed if you are ready and willing however it requires deep diving along with self enquiry.

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No one can get it ahead or without the necessary work and you have great examples with you

Sometimes in the race of life we look around to find people ahead of us and wonder how did they get ahead…sometimes doubting our potential or theirs, comparing our progress with theirs and feeling less in the process.
We have been told that good things come to those who work hard and are patient. Is that always possible…how do we know that we are working hard and are being patient? Well…there are going to be times when no work seems to be happening and impatience penetrates the being. Those are the times to go slow and be deliberately patient…the ego will shout about being lazy, good for nothing and an absolute sloth. The being will be want to rush and take an action however it would be best to calm down and not be in a hurry.
Let things come to you and unfold. Let the path be revealed.
Hmmm…does that mean, just being inactive or passive? No, by deliberately not rushing in and believing in the inner critic’s voice, it would be the greatest action taken. Doing things out of fear, in anger or some greed will result in a kind of action that would cause pitfalls and you can become a victim of your own judgements.
And never mind if you do/did, ignore the judgement and walk out of your own prison by declaring to be free to make mistakes and learn. If you are not making mistakes you are not learning!

Things will arrange themselves as the right perspective comes forward..

Many a times we are searching for answers or the right way to be shown however there are no forthcoming answers or clear directions apparent.
When trying to find a solution or get clarity about following a thought or way many options and opposing views present themselves. It seems all the more difficult now to choose one from many. There are pros and cons about each options and even then some uncertainty seems to loom large mostly resulting in a lockjam where thinking is stalled. Now it feels like a burden we carry invisibly preventing us from being fully present in the now.
What could be helpful here is to bring the attention to the body and move it in ways(even a simple walk..at home) along with the breath. When the alignment of body, mind and breath happens suddenly the right perspective is quite easily visible and everything.
Trying to think it through or mulling over it and chewing it like cud are slow, painful and draining processes which unnecessarily take up energy from the system and usually become like addictive patterns.

Be ready to receive it by emptying more and more

If you are wondering why do you feel unloved and unaccepted at times or have anger, resentment, hurt, doubt, suspicion at others then remember that these particular feelings need to be accessed and breathed into.
The process of breathing into the feeling rather than getting consumed by it and bursting inwards or outwards helps release the charge so an understanding, clarity can happen which helps bring back the balance in the system.
The more we can release the more space is cleared for the love and acceptance to grow. However, it would be good to remember that we can do it only as much and how much we can safely release. Sometimes things can go fast and at other times they are slow. Sometimes the energy needs to be built up so it can gain sufficient mass and momentum for effective release.
Also important to remember is that we might feel triggered from outside however those triggers could be just there for surfacing of emotions covering the wound. It would be good to not get into a blame game or get defensive about it and thereby scuttle the process of release also possibly creating further wounding and postponing the clearing.
The most important part to remember in this whole clearing process or self work is to work with self compassion and self love. There are going to be times when we deny, defend and blame the person/situation supposedly causing the pain/conflict. And “Its OKAY”….as my teacher says…take your time. Do not be in a hurry to complete the process, enjoy the journey too!

Do not overthink or try hard…let it come to you!

Many a times while working at a problem, looking for solutions and feeling a certain way through which you cannot think through we over exert ourselves by trying hard to find instant solutions & fixes.
Awareness can throw light but to get understanding we must wait for cause of trigger to arrive at the next step. The more the active searching… we start exploring the many possible causes which are like open-ended tunnels and we don’t know which one we should go through.
It also becomes overwhelming by having to think through all the possibilities and get to address the problem.
Trying to logically or intellectually solve it becomes an added burden to the internal processing which is already happening. It would be a good idea to sit with acceptance of the problem for a while as some understanding pops up.
Meanwhile writing, listening, movement can help release the emotional unease to access logical reasoning part where a deeper understanding and action can be revealed for facilitating healing.
So while trying to change a behaviour or a habit is difficult unless the charge (emotional) around it is dissipated by observing and staying with the uncomfortable feelings. Once the emotion is felt, expressed and moved around a clarity emerges for steps to be taken.
And sometimes we fix a goal or agenda for our future and try hard to achieve it somehow whereas another path has already been chosen which could lead to same destination however in a different manner than being envisioned.

You are shining already and what is left is your own acceptance.

Each and every being is part of light and the source. However sometimes we forget that part of us as our light is blocked by self or others. Sometimes it happens in the childhood that we are not even aware of the incident as an adult yet a hurt part is created and plays out till we access it, accept it and work on it. 

Self loathing plays out in many ways other than just a non-acceptance of our being. Like when we continue to do things which are not really helping us, practising behaviour which is hurting, not accepting and working with our creativity.

When the feeling of non-acceptance surfaces as perhaps a not ok feeling within us we are more likely to numb it with activities which keep us asleep and unaware. 

It could be a good idea to talk to someone(therapist) or write down what is bothering you. Once you break down what’s bothering you it will take you back to where the understanding got muddled and led to a change in thinking.

A lot of work is done when acceptance happens, a non-judgemental acceptance for what’s happening currently and what happened previously. With that acceptance and the acceptance of who we are it is possible to get back to the state where something went wrong or changed course.

You are on the right path and all the struggle is the fuel for moving ahead.

What we think is causing suffering and feels painful is the path to healing. Although we despise discomfort and the feeling of unease if we go a little deeper it would reveal something which needs a release. This release also opens up the path for more of our own energy to flow in.
Use the suffering to find out what lies(literally)underneath the hurt, anger, sadness, guilt, shame etc. Like I used to get angry about other people’s thoughts on limitation about my capabilities to perform as an adult and when I looked deeper I realised that I was not confident of my capabilities. In some cases I had overcome my limitations but other people had their conditioning which they were not able to let go of. So I had to check within rather than bursting out in a fit of anger and pointing fingers at others quickly going to a defensive and then offensive mode.
Usually what really feels painful is when someone close to us brings up a wound and on a continuos basis, everyday. It becomes important to look into what exactly is getting triggered and badly needs a release. For most of us a common wound is is that of not being ‘good enough’ triggered by parents, teachers, bosses, spouses etc. Since it is coming from such close quarters and positions of authority we really need to be discerning whether it has any truth or it is something coming from a place of feeling good about themselves via putting another down.
Not everything is available to us at all times for healing, we can store memories and trauma in our cells till it becomes imperative that we work on the release. The conscious mind keeps us in the now so that we can focus on our day to day job. However when we think that something is bothering us ever so often it is time to work on ourselves or to take help from others who have worked on themselves.
So suffering when we are aware of it is not bad a it can lead us to growth and healing. What is unacceptable is continuing in the same situation without attempts to accept or repair and wallowing in self-pity.